FINALLY!!!!

FINALLY!!!!!!! FINALLY!!!!!
I can hardly stand the excitement!!!
We are leaving in a day to head to Idaho for Paul's GRADUATION!
I have nothing packed and clothes that still need washed!!
But we are outta here Wednesday morning.
He is getting his Associates right now,
and will start @ Weber State in January to FINISH!
There is a small light that I am beginning to see.
He has worked so HARD and I have tried to always be supportive..
But let's face it your husband that is 40+ years old can only do so much homework before EVERYONE starts to lose interest!!!

So we are saying goodbye to BYU-IDAHO!!! You havve been good to us,
BUT finally he is graduating!!!
YEAH!!

This is what I want!!

Today, Today I AM mad,

I AM sad

I want EVERYONE to understand. But to be honest I dont really know.

I want you to see the little boy that comes home crying because YOUR son called him retarded!! I want to see the way you break him when you say HE CANT DO that!!

I want you to explain to him why he has to sit alone in that room until he calms down.

I want you to be told where your son will sit, where he will go to school, what friends he can talk to today..

I want you to have bathe your son ,

I want you to care for your son for 100% of his daily care.

I want you to lay in bed and cry yourself to sleep because...,

You cant go to school for him and you can NOT take his pain away.

The pain he doesnt undestand enough to tell you about.

I want you go watch ALL the other kids he age do what they do everyday and wonder if you will EVER see your son do that!!!

I want your heart to break when people ask you "what 's wrong" with him.

I want you to explain to your oldest daughter that it is ok to have her friends come over and HOPE there is NO meltdown.

I want you to STOP!!!!

I want you stop judging my parenting skills because of the way he acts at school.

I want you to come pick him up from the grocery store when he has a meltdown and you can't get him out of the store alone.

I want you to have EVERYONE tell you what you do wrong EVERYDAY, because they know how you should do it all!!

I want you to understand that I AM A MOM... I LOVE him unconditionally!!!

I will FIGHT this battle with him, because if not who will.

I will shower him,

I will wash his face,

I will tie his shoes,

I will write his name.

I will hold his hand through his life.

I will teach him.

WHATever he wants!!!!

HE is NOT broken!!!! Please STOP trying to fix him!!!!!

Gray Matter Heterotopia

Yeap that is what I said.... Does any of you know the meaning??
Yesterday I took Tayson down to good ol' PCMC to see the neurologist. We were talking about possibly tappering him off his seizure medication. At which time she suggested an EEG of his brain to see if there was any change in his seizure activity.. Well she called today and said in fact he shows EXTREME seizure activity one the right side of his brain, which explains why when he did seize it was on the Left side of his body. That night 2 years ago was HORRIBLE to watch his little body seize and we we do NOT want that again!!!! So we are keeping him on the current dose. But while we were there Dr. Neilson explained that when he had his MRI a while ago it showed that he has GRAY-MATTER HETEROTOPIA. It is were when the brain develops that not all of the cells develop correctly and cause a gray look to them, where Tayson's is located on his brain is on the Right side where the seizure activity is prone too. It is also on the part of the brain that controls speech and motor skills. So we will continue treating the EPILEPSY part of it and as progression takes place on his brain we will go from there. Of course this is also promptly a "BOY" disorder,, it is also seen in girls BUT not a severely. So I will continue to research a NEW clinical term and see what I can find out and when I do I will continue to share with you.
I am thinking I should find a new career in NEUROLOGY!!!-LOL

Otherwise everything in WYOMING is busy, busy, busy.. Lots of School Christmas Programs coming up!!!:O)

THanKFul!

Today as I reflect on the last year I am thankful for so many things.
Some are small and some are big, but non the less I am thankful.
I am thankful for my little family and the trials that we face each day without them I would be lost.
I am thankful that at this time I am able to stay home and just be a MOM!!
I am thankful that I live close to my Family and for their support.
I am thankful for my husband and what a hard worker he is (sh.. dont tell him)
I am thankful that my Dad and Brother in laws are the family entertainment so often.
I am thankful for all of my sisters in their own special ways I love each of them so much.
I am thankful for my Mom for teaching me patients and love and for being so wonderful.
I am thankful for Toree and her love for life and they way she smiles and rolls her eyes at me when I try to kiss her. And for the fact that she and I have gotten so close, she is a GREAT kid.
I am thankful for Tanner for all that he has thought me and continues to teach me each day, and for his hugs ( they well knock you right over if you are not ready for them).
I am thankful for Tayson, for the fact that he doesnt ever leave my side. For the way he loves his brother and sister unconditoinally.

There is so much more that I am thankful for, but I think you get the idea.. Each one of us have so much to give thanks for at this time of year.. It is a GREAT way to start the Holiday Season!!!

It is a new day !

On Sunday I was able to go with Paul and Tanner to Tanner's Priesthood Preview. I can not believe next year at this time he will be able to pass the sacrament at church. (where did that 12 years go). Anyways as I was watching the other boys do 12 year old things it made my heart sad. Sad for the things that Tanner just doesnt get at his age that he should. It mad me sad for the things he may never get to do or understand. It made me sad, SAD for me NOT him I think.
I almost feel guilty writing this blog. Maybe I only felt sorry for me because I saw what Tanner WAS NOT doing instead of what he was doing. I feel selfish now writing that I felt that way.
I wonder often sometimes TOO often if you ask Paul. What will happen if Im not here. Well they know that he cant tie his shoes, button his suit shirt, wipe is own ( well you know where I am going with this). So I ask myself lately do I feel sorry for ME ?? No mother is suppose to feel that way. But I wonder will he ever go to prom, get a drivers license, kiss a girl, go on a date. These kind of things NEVER crossed my mind before, but he is getting older and NOW this is the questions that I have to look forward too..

A day with AUTISM in OUR house.

PLEASE forgive the lengthy post.. I just had to get some information out there!!! I thought this was the best way to share my feelings for the day and the last few weeks.. BE prepared it a long post!

*********************************************************************************

Sometimes it is so hard to explain PDD/NOS. This is what Tanner has OFFICALLY been diagnosised with from a number of Doctors, so it MUST be true... RIGHT?????

PDD/NOS is one of the 5 main diagnosises on the AUTISM SPECTRUM!! And believe me I have fought some pretty good fights with professionals- We will call them teachers (just for fun)-

Well last night I was reading and came across this GREAT explanation of what exactly PDD/NOS is so here you go..... READY!!!!

PDD/NOS is...

just a way of SUGARCOATING a diagnosis of AUTISM.

You can call it what you want, but your son has AUTISM!!!!

There you have it.. Straight from the Doctors mouth.

Now if I could just get the rest of the world to understand.

NO Two Children are the same. Everyone with the diagnosises of AUTISM is different!

I personally know of 5 different children that are all diagnosised with PDD/NOS and everyone of them have differnet traits of the spectrum.

As hard as it was for me to come to the grasp of this with Tanner as it is with all parents I think the hardest part for me was when the Specialist told me he also had MENTAL RETARDATION!

That has not ever been an issue. But to actually have that as a diagnosis made everything so REAL. I had always wanted to be a SPECIAL ED. teacher. STILL DO!!But to have those needs in my house everyday 24/7 was really a shocker.

I watch my boys as they are getiing ready for bed. Tanner is 11 and Tayson is 4.The steps in which it takes to get tanner ready for bed TRIPLE what it takes to get Tayson ready. Everything with him is a process. A process of setting every thing out to actually physically doing it for him. The difference MANY people would never have known had I not shared it with them. Tanner functions at a 2-3 year old with his daily living skills in an 11 year old body. He reads at a beginning preschool level. Math, writing, speech are very well controlled with teachers and people watching out for him. Helping him solve the simplest of problem can cause a meltdown.

I wonder if he will ever be able to care for himself?? I wonder if when I am no longer able to help him--WHO WILL?? I wonder if when he is at school do they know he is unable to wash his face without verbal and sometimes physcial prompts... Do they know these things?? Who will tell them, he can't he doesn't understand....

Toree's first LOVE story!!

I have to be equal, and today it is Toree's turn!!!!!!!!

If you have been reading the last couple of posts or been following me on facebook, you know that Toree has her

FIRST LOVE

his name is Cody (pictured below)..

Well, my sweet little Toree has found his Mother's cell phone number and is texting her to have Cody call her... Or better yet she chats it up with her on facebook....

YES.... so now when I go to bed sooo do all electronics in the house....

AHHHHHH,

to first love and Modern day technology!!!

****************************************

I am VERY scared of what I have to look forward too when she can date.

Good Heavens she is only 13.....

YEAP Tann.... You just had a BAD day!!!

For all you I am sorry, this is another Tanner post. I guess I am going to have to start using this blog as a way to get out my frustration, worries and concern for him and his disabilities. Sometimes I look at that sweet face I know that inside his head so many mixed up thoughts and concerns are going throught there. He doesnt understand how to always voice them or act appropiately. That is part of ASD and his Mental Retardation... It is not always him seeking attention, It is Not him being a $H!t..... Tanners brain DOES NOT work like that.. Yes he is 11...Yes he does get in trouble, Yes he does get things taken away from him just like EVERY NORMAL kid.... When you get calls from the school you go in you deal with the situation at hand, YOU get in your car and BAWL your eyes out so hard and long that your ribs hurt... Then you look at that sweet little boy sitting next you that says "MOM... I think I had a bad day at School today.."
YEAP Tan you did...
"MOM... Am I a BAD boy"
NOPE Tan you just had a BAD day...

I need a nap after this post--LOL

Tanner @ Special Olympics State 2011

Cody and Toree @ the Dance/Banquet for

Special Olympics

The theme was AWESOME 80's

Cody and Tanner

The MUSIC was a little to loud for Tanner

He didn't really like the crowd either..

Me and the Boys after our

AUTISM WALK

(it was freezing)

Paul and the boys...

Toree was there too, she is TOO cool for pictures anymore!

This is our TEAM!!!!

Crystal is always there to support my Family!

Gdpa and Gdma were there too.. Walking and FREEZING with us!!

There was a huge CROWD!!!

And if you look really hard in the LEFT corner. The girl with the brown sweatshirt and sunglasses--that is TOREE!! SHhhh.. don't tell her she was in the picture!

The Salt Lake Bee and the BOYS!!!

There are alot of pictures... But the last 3 weeks have been VERY, VERY busy.

I didnt even post the pictures from Tanner's first Regional Bowling for Special Olympics. There is NO new school pictures and well LIFE has been a little CRAZIER then normal..

I now am staying home and have quit my job at the Doctor Office.. LOVED the job, but the kiddos needed me home.. I know right now this is where I need to be. I have 3 AWESOME kids and I was missing everything and was just not being a very nice mom.. So after much praying and crying myself to sleep at night I QUIT!!! So far it has been great. I help at teh school and drive everyone everywhere, do the laundry, and EVERY night we eat a HOT homecooked meal-- TOGETHER!!!

Paul will be GRADUATING from BYU-I in December.. The rest will be short lived for him though, He will start at Weber State in January to finish up with his Healthcare Administration Degree.. I know good things come to those who wait.. BUT come on!!! (LOL)

Toree is doing GREAT in school this year and she LOVE it too. Basketball is starting soon and she is excited for that.. No swiming this year.. Can't say that I am sad about that though... Swimming is BORING to watch!! But she liked it ladt year.

Tanner is still at Aspen and I love him gong there. They are GREAT with him there and He and I both need that... He just started doing the Special Olympics a few weeks ago. AND LOVES IT!! They don't have a team in Evanston so the team in Bridger Valley let us join with them and they are AWESOME!!!! The kids and parents are great.. Tanner has won 2 BRONZE medals!!!

Tayson well. In case you havent talked to him lately he is going to be 5 soon (Dec 12) ask he will tell you and has become a PERMANENT fixtuure to my HIP!!! He goes to prec=school 2 days a week and LOVES playing with Mom..

Ok so there you have it... That is what is gong on at our HOUSE!!!

Hopefully now that I am home during the day I will post more then once every 2 months

Thank YOU Angel Mom's..

Ok so I usually dont get on the blog to vent but today has been one of those I feel really sorry for myself so everyone else should fell sorry for me too, RIGHT???, Wrong I have some blogs that I have found recently (thank you Ashley Sullenger). That make me think Cherisa suck it up!!! You have no idea what these other Angel Mom's go through everyday and today you want to whine..
Their spirits and stories are AMAZING.. And everyday I faithfully read their blogs just to see what new words of wisdom they have for me.. I thank them all and Pray for them all to have continuing strength..
I always have loved my children, they make me crazy and they make me want to pull my hair out. But reading those stories make me able to be a better Mom and make me want to be a BETTER mom. So now because I know these amazing parents that have their sweet angels watching over them FOREVER!!! thank you :-)

Picture overload and LOVING my family

Toree is now 13 and every bit a Girl!!!!!

(notice the skinned up nose, that is what happens when you drive into a NO DIVING pool)

My AMAZING Grandma turned 80 !!!!

Everyone came to surprise her....

I gave her gallbladder surgery:) Seriously she went in the next week

This is Grandpa and Grandma at her Birthday Party!

We went to Lagoon!!!

We went to Casper!!!

We went to OutLaw games!!!:)

The family!!!!

OK!!!!! so there is an overload of pictures!!!! But after reading my friend Tiffany's blog. I just wanted to share with you all my Amazing family and the last 3 weeks!!!! NOW, NOW I noticed Toree wasn't in many pictures, but she was there... Except for the Casper trip-- she was at Cherry Hill with her friend Shae!!!

Hello Summer!!!!!!! This is a LONGER post

I am trying for the second time to publish this post.. Hopefully this time I will remember to hit save...

WISH ME LUCK!!!!

Cuz here we go..................................

At my house we are VERY hapy that summer is finally here, Even with tanner and Paul both playing baseball, last week was the first game all season that I didnt have to carry in extra everything to keep us warm. Although Jackie, Becky, and Helen (aka Wacey's MOM. ths story will come in a later post) Keep us all stocked up with hot chocolate. This 3 lovely ladies work the snack bar at the baseball fields and cook dinner for Our family 3-4 nights a week. Thank goodness they LOVE us and that next Wednesday is the last game. Which reminds me I have to go grocery shopping.... ok ok back to the blog.

Tanner is LOVING zuka ball and Tayson can NOT wait until next year when he is old enough for Tee-Ball. To be honest I can't wait either. Paul is playing on a Men's and Co-ED soft ball teams. The team SSSSSUUUUUUUUCCCCKKKKKKSSSSSSS, but he likes it and I don't miss a game.

Toree is still hanging out in her room, with the exception of this week. She has been gone to CheryyHill with a friend from school and won't be home until tomorrow. I hope she starts coming out of her shell. She needs to GET out more.-LOL :)

Paul starts his new job on Monday wihich is dayshift. It will be nice to have him home, but finding a daycare that will take Tanner has not been as easy as it was in Rigby.. I miss Journeys and so does tan. I love my job, but I am sure that night shifts will be visiting me again soon. Not sure how I feel about that, but the kiddos come first.

Anyways that is what has been going on this week. But we are glad summer finally found Evanston!

BAM!!!! I got this!

As I have been thinking over the last few days about how lucky I am to have the challenges in my life I wonder if I really am as Grateful for them as I should be. I see and hear everyday of other peoples great Life challenges and wonder how they can handle what is happening with their own life. Then I remember Heavenly Father only gives you what he knows you can handle...
Some people I see I wonder if they ever think, I CAN NOT HANDLE ANYMORE and then BAM!!
That is when I look around me and with a smile on my face I think this isnt TOO bad.

The other night I went to a baseball game with the family and Tanner had a MAJOR meltdown.. Now mind you the ballfields were packed and it was just about time to end one group of games and start another... I can handle this...BAM-- he throws himself on the ground and by this time it looks like a High School fight is happening with the crowd of people that Have suurounded us.. And I hear some guy going off about parents like me thinking it is ok for our children to act like this in public.. Thank Heavens for the sweet Candy Counter ladies that heard him came running out and nipped that in the butt. She also has a children with Autism and understands.
But I was so appreciative of her. And all I thought to myself was I GOT THIS!!!!!
I havent yet found out what I have got.. But No matter what I know it is GOOD!!!

Toree jumped right on board with the meltdown and took over as tayson's mom and Knew right what to do to remove him from the situation. I was greatful for her. Right now she is at Girls Camp and I am sad I am not with her, But BOY do I miss her yelling, screaming, slamming the doors at us face...

My Life and ALL the Doctor Appointments in it!!! Well for May anyways

Toree had to go back to the Ortho. Dr for her foot, She was VERY happy that she was able to FINALLY get her cast off. After 2 1/2 cast and a walking boot for 6 weeks it is finally healed..YEAH!!!

Tayson went yesterday to the Neurologist at PCMC ( have I mentioned I LOVE that PLACE)

we are going to have to do some more EEG's on him to find out what the real severity of his seizure activity . They gave me some new EMERGENCY seizure for him call DIASTAT. The doctor in Idaho wanted me to have some on hand, but our insurance wouldn't cover it and it is VERY expensive. THANK goodness for the insurance in WYOMING. Any how she also went ovver LOTS of seizure producal with Tayson, Tanner and I while we were there. I think it made bothe the boys feel like grwon ups because she told Tanner the rules for Tayson. And Tayson got the rules for Tanner and what to watch for in case of any seizure acitivity. Tayson has to go down for a 24 hour EEG when they get it scheduled. Paul said he would take him.. We'll see how that turns out, Tayson in bed for 24+ hours, I am glad I took Tanner...LOL

Tanner went and seen an AUTISM specialist in Casper Wyoming.. AMAZING lady, we will be heading there again in JULY for some gentic testing and other special tests..She also wants him to have a sleep study.

So there you have it all in a NUT shell.. My LIFE and all the Doctor Appointments in it!!!

When your Princess is NOT a Princess anymore?

THAT IS ALL I HAVE TOO SAY ABOUT HAVING A TEENAGER IN MY HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can NOT believe that April s almost over!!

So apparently I don't keep this very up to date. We did make it successfully home from PCMC on March 22. Tanner did well and they took him off all his seizure medication. Which I was a bit nervous about at the time, but it has seemed to do well for him. We made a trip down to the Riverton PCMC and saw Dr. Filloux his new neurologist on the 4th of April and he wasmore concerned with Autism and the effect it his having on his little brain than anything else. So we continue off the Medication for seizures---YEAH!!!! And he WAS doing exteremely well UNTIL Tuesday April 12.. Got a phone call from Tanner's school that he had wentA-WALL and the police had ben called and that the Principal and Mrs. Bailey ( LOVE LOVE her) were with him. Even though he was off school Grounds!!THANK YOU TO THEM!! Needless to say Tanner got 2 day suspension and Mrs. Bailey had to go to the ER because he scratched her hand so bad.. Poor lady, but we LOVE her- OH yeah I already mentioned that..Then we found out that he had strep ( like EVERY kid in evanston) possibly why he had the melt down.. Toree is now 13.... Oh my goodness. I went with her to new beginnings on Tuesday, It was noce just me and her.. She is kinda bummed right now. With her foot in the walking boot for the last 6 weeks she had Missed track and swimming alon with soft ball try-outs.. her is to next year. She is on the honor roll and seems to be doing good at the school here. Which is a belssing.. Tayson got his tonsils out on March 25 and we ended up having to re admit him for 3 days because of dehydration and observation.. It took him a while to get over it all, but he is doing well now,, He LOVES pre-school and is quiet the "ladies Man" We love our Mater!!! Don't know what we ever did for entertainment without him!!! Hope all is well with you all and your families!!!!!!!!

Still WAITING

Well we made it safely to PCMC on Friday the 18th and we are still here.. Apparently Tanner's brain has decided not to seize while we are all here.. SO WE WAIT~~!!!!!!!
Then is heart-rate went all crazy so they do a EKG...Of course they show NORMAL!!!
Sugar Gluclose is NORMAL.
They have drawn blood for MORE test, we have stopped seizure medication,we have gone sleep deprived and rode bikes, looked at strope lights and even the hyperventalating..... AND WE WAIT!!!!!
Still NO seizures which is a GOOD and Bad thing, Now we are trying to figure out exactly what the abnormallities in his brain really are!!!
Tommorrow we meet with a nutrionalist to figure out a diet for Tanner at home.
HOME---- we will be there soon. I love the staff at PCMC they are the BEST of the BEST!!! And they are NOT stopping until they figure all this out.... too bad Tanner is so complicated!!! and
WE WAIT!!!!!!!!!

I KNOW WHAT I SAID...,, BUT I am NOT sure I meant it.

I know I know in my last post or so I said....BRING ON MARCH, But I have decided I would like to remove that remark..March oh how I love you with the beautiful spring like weather, the slow family life, the NO visit to Doctors offices, the break from college and everyday homework........ OH WAIT that is not what I have been doing and it is ONLY the 13th... Paul's college homework and the kiddos homework is still there, I forgot I lived in Wyoming and March is when they get the MOST snow...GOOD-BYE SPRING, Doctors visits... I do NOT want to even talk about it,. We have tonsils coming out, EEG's to plan for, strep throat like crazy and Now I have a headche..

I KNOW WHAT I SAID ABOUT "BRING ON MARCH, I AM READY FOR YA"
Seriously what was I thinking,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
WHAT DOESN'T KILL YOU MAKES YOU STRONGER!!!
THAT MUST HAVE BEEN WHAT I WAS THINKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I NEED TO FIND SOMETHING EXCITING TO DO.....WYOMING IS BORING.............

MY "-SS-S-S--SS-W-W--WE-E-E-E-E--T--TT-T" ..... TOREE, GESS I ALMOST COULDN'T GET THAT OUT.. SHE IS A CRAZY BOY LOVING, YELLING AT EVERYONE, THINKS SHE IS THE BOSS PRE-TEEN... HEAVEN PLEASE HELP ME-----I MEAN HER!!! SHE SWIMS, SHE RUNS, SHE DANCES, AND SHE FORGETS TO DO HER HOMEWORK.. BUT, WE LOVE HER.

This 2 weeks ago when Tayson had to have his MRI.. They started his IV and he didnt even bat an eye..... OF COURSE SNOW WHITE, was on. So the building could have fell down around him and he would have been ok until he couldnt see the movie.. Before Christmas we took Tayson to a Pediatric Dentist in Odgen and they of course sent us to PCMC and look at that new smile..

This picture is SOOOOOOOO old but I loved it so much I had to throw it in...

I knoe this is a pathetic picture, look at how sad those eyes are... This was the prep for our 24 hour EEG..... Guess where we wer at?????? ANYONE?????

PRIMARY CHILDRENS....... IF YOU ARE KEEPING TRACK THAT IS 4 VISIT SO FAR. AND I HAVENT INCLUDED TANNER'S FIRST 2 VISITS, TAYSON'S EEG AND I KNOW I WAS DOWN THER FOR SOMETHING ELSE????? IT WILL COME TO ME SOON!!!!
NOW MIND YOU PAUL HAD NEVER--EVER BEEN TO A 'TANNER" EEG, SO ALL THE STORIES HE THOUGHT I TOLD HIM ABOUT TANNER'S REACTION.. WAS A PUSSY-CAT VERSION COMPARED TO THIS PREP...5 IT TOOK 5 OF US TO HOLD HIM WITH ME STRATTLING HOM ON THE BED.. THOSE POOR TECH EARNED THERE MONEY THAT DAY.

OUR NEXT ADVENTURE IS TO TAKE PLACE ON MARCH 18TH. TANNER AND I WILL HEAD DOWN FOR A 3-5 DAY EEG... HOPEFULLY THEY WILL FIND OUT WHAT THEY NEED IN 3 DAYS, BUT WITH THAT KID ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE..I BELIEVE HE WILL HAVE TO STAY IN THE NICU, BUT I'M NOT CERTAIN. AS INFORMATION COMES AVAILABLE TO ME I WILL LET YOU ALL KNOW..

ANYHOW, JUST WANTED TO LET EVERYONE KNOW 2011 HAS BEEN EXCITING SO FAR.. OH YEAH I FORGOT TO MENTION.. PAUL HAD SURGERY AND TAYSON GOT STITCHES IN THE SAME DAY AND I BROKE MY FOOT. (I DON'T REMEMBER IF I BLOGGED THAT) BUT , I JUST WANTED TO ADD SOMETHING ABOUT ME IN THIS STORY..

BRING ON MARCH.... I'M READY FOR YA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh how I LOVE PCMC!!!!

Now I have often heard people say how they LOVE Primary Childrens Hospital.. Now I know why. I have been there every week, once or twice a week since before Christmas for different test and what NOts with the boys.. And Yes PCMC is AMAZING!!! When I went in on Friday for Tayson's MRI the security gaurd said to me "Well hello Mrs. Spatig, we were wondering when you were coming in again.." Honestly, with the 1.000 of thousands of people that travel those hallways he remembered me.. I cant imagine how some people can NOT think the world of the staff there.. Even Ray the LOYAL and CRAZY MRI tech that is Man enough to sport a BYU nametag necklace there.. Or Nikki the AMAZING EEG tech that didnt even batt an eye at Tanner trying to eat her arm. The Nurses and Doctors are in a breed of their own..
When Tayson got his MRI on Friday Dr. Neilson his neurologist was on the phone with me within 2 hours of his test with the results.. 2 hours!!! I have worked in the healthcare field for MANY MANY Years and have never seen such care and understanding.. To them I say thank you!!! Thank you coe letting me feel like I AM THE ONLY PARENT IN THE HOSPITAL.. Even if it is just for those few moments...

THANK YOU EVANSTON RED DEVILS... These kids are AWESOME

During the Evanston High School Varsity Games they always have a 50/50 cash drawing and the Castle Rock shoot-out!! This is Tanner when his name was called for the Shoot-out.. And the next game we went to he won the 50/50 which was 65.00 (Lucky kid)



Now to meet the people that are
"ROCK-STARS"
If you are visiting this blog for the first-time and live in Evanston, Wyoming. The next time you see one of our WONDERFUL High School students running around town. Just smile at them, because that is the best way I can think of to thank them all. This kids have all taken my Tanner under their wing.. He is the "cool" kid that everyone wants to hang with. This kids go above and beyond anything any High School student should. They love my kid and they dont care what other people say.. So to any of you that are their parents, their coaches, or their teachers. These are GREAT kids that need to know that one mom out there watching them is VERY proud of the way you have raised your kids, coached them and taught them!!!
Thank you Evanston Red Devils!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


One of Tanner's Favorite people..... Thank Tyler #34

I was unable to download all the pictures of our basketball games...We had over 1,000...YES\1,000.. So if you want pictures from any home games let me know!!

Do You EVER feel GUILTY????

At work today a co-worker asked me if I felt "GUILTY" when I found out that Tanner had special needs...Without a second of thought I said NO!!! I knew from the minute I saw him that there was something very "special" about him. I told her that I was more upset with the Doctors that would never listen to my concerns about him and that so many of them told me that... he was just a boy and that I should not compare him to his sister, because boys development is noticably slower than girls". I was upset that because of the Doctors SLOWWWWW response to his needs that I lost those precious years of much needed therapies... BUT NEVER DID I FEEL GUILT.

Sure, there were those days when I cried ohhhhh how i cried.. When the specialist told me that he would never do this or he could not do that...I CRIED!!! When we have to hold him down for them to put the wires on his head for EEG's, when they have to draw blood from his little-chubby arm, when they have to move him to the front of the class so he can hear....I cry, not for me but for him because he knows there is something different about him. When he sees other kids that are his age and they are doing things he cant do yet. Like riding a bike, tying their own shoes, zipping up their own coats, or the best is doing up their own pants. (THANK heavens that elastic pants are still cool).

But, then I feel PRIDE.. It's the kinda pride that you just can't explain. It's when you see your kids go up to the child in the wheelchair or with a walker and they help them or run over to say hi to them while all the other kids run past them. That is something I always wanted to teach my kids, But with Tanner it just came natural.. His compassion for others is something MOST adults would be jealous of..

So to sum up her question.... NO,I never ever felt GUILT!!!!!!! I feel honored that Heavenly Father knew I was strong enough to have such a "SPECIAL" spirit in my home and in my life...

One Step at a Time!!!

Tonight for the first time ever I sat at my parents house as the gentleman from the University of Wkyoming was asking us questions to finish up Tanner's DD waiver process. This IS finally the last step..
We were all sitting there Mom, Dad, Me Paul and the kiddos. As he asked the first round of questions it wasnt too bad we were able to get to at least question 10 before the 1 and 0 were our answers.. This I think was much easier for my Mom and I then the men there. To have to actually admit his functioning skills is probually the HARDEST thing for me, because I have always hidden what I do for him from so many people.
Then we got to the final section which is my least favorite part, That would be the Personal Cares section. This is the part where you have to actually speak up and let your childs NEEDS known.. The fact that my 10 year old is not able to wash his hands and face alone without verbal cues, The fact that my 10 year old is NOT able to dress and care for himself alone opened my eyes yet again.
Over the last 2 years since Tanner's diagnoises and all the therapies we have put him in he is NOW able to make friends at school. As a matter of fact on Friday night he took me on a date. Knowing a couple of girls from the office with boys the same age I invited them to join us. It was AMAZING.. The boys laughed and visited.. I laughed and visited and at the end of the 3 hour dinner I thought to myself, "DAMN, look how far we have come Tann".. Yes we have a long ways to go and probually many more melt-downs,.. But we had one successful dinner and his FIRST ever boys NIGHT out,,

I really miss my Idaho Friends

The holidays are over and it makes you greatful for what you have. This year being home for the entire Holiday Season was WONDERFUL!!!
I do however greatly miss my dear friends in Idaho.. And that has been hard, I am not overly friendly and they all broke right through the wall. So to all my Idaho friends.. I MISS YOU ALL!!!!!
I hope to see you all again soon and at the rate you are all announcing NEW babies it should be for all your showers.. PLAN THEM ALL THE SAME WEEKEND, THEN I WONT MISS ONE.

It makes you thankful for great friends, you know the ones that are your family and take you under their wings when you are alone or away from your family.. that is what you all meant to me.. I hope and pray you all have a wonderful 2011.