Closure.... Now what next?

Now I have the diagnosis
 and over the last few days I have been VERY emotionally.
I think now everything that I have been trying to put blinders over because I was told it was this or that for the last few years from Doctors and Specialist has finally hit home.
 It was so hard that  I started doubting myself.
Thinking I was making things out to be worse then what it really was.
That I was self diagnosising my son.
That I was making him a "special-needs" kid when really he wasnt.
All of these stresses and worries were answered and confirmed last Friday.
And to be honest with you all I dont really think I am handling it well.
I would never say that outloud and that is why the world of BLOG is so amazing.
I have had to be strong for so long.
I have fought so many battles.
I have finally gotten the answers to my BIGGEST fears.

*My son is AUTISTIC,

*My son is DEPRESSED,

*My son is over-STIMULATED,

*My son has ANXIETY Issues,

*My son has Sensory Issues ( i dont even know what that means),

*My son has Seizure Disorder,

*My son has Mental Retardation,.....................

*My son is COMPLICATED!

MY son is the LOVE of my life!

My son is a brother.

My son is FIGHTER!

My son is CARING, LOVING, and POLITE...

My son IS a child with AUTISM.

I knew for 12 years since the day he was born..

And that is ok.

There is NOTHING

I would EVER change.

But I still want to be sad and try to fix everything and make it easier for him.

Now I hope that the label of "AUTISM" is not placed on his every move.

I want him to be happy

I want him to be independent.

I want him to understand things that we all take for granted.

I want him to be able to have a WONDERFUL-

loved filled life.

It like knowing "offically" now what I have known in my heart forever.

But it still hurts.

Not knowing as his mother what to do.

How to explain it to him and his Sister and Brother,

AWESOME day!! Lots of answers!!

Dr. B will NEVER fully comphrend how much I LOVE her.

Finally today after 4 LOOOONNNNGGGG years of tests, specialist, screenings and errors.

We have a Full Diagnosis.

AUTISM!!!

I know a real SHOCKER.

Why the happy-relieved tone in my typing.

Because NOW it is OFFICAL.

that means the schools HAVE to get him the services he needs.

And get this Dr. B wants to come in on an IEP and eval Tanner at school.

Awesome Day........

I think YES.

More to come later,

Just wanted to update. 

The BIG day is finally here!!!!

And as excited as I am there is a HUGE part of me that does NOT want tomorrow to come.

We have been WAITING for so long it seems to actually get a Diagnosis for Tanner that I am SCARED!!

He has gone to so many different Doctors and Specialist that all come to ONE conclusion that is he is a COMPLICATED CASE!

Like  I was NOT fully aware of the fact he is COMPLICATED!!!

But I do have a feeling that THIS appointment will answer questions that both Paul and I have had.

HOPEFULLY!

Hopefully there will be NO more testing for a while.

And we will be able to NOW find out who can help him

and what other services will work BEST for him.:)

I have always known from the MINUTE I saw his cute little face there was something about him that would ROCK my world.

And now I have found someone that I hope will be able to help us and give us answers!!!

SO, if tomorrow there is a  post of

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

You will all know that she said he was COMPLICATED and changed NOTHING!!

So here is too a Diagnosis that will make sense.

GOOD NIGHT!