Closure.... Now what next?

Now I have the diagnosis
 and over the last few days I have been VERY emotionally.
I think now everything that I have been trying to put blinders over because I was told it was this or that for the last few years from Doctors and Specialist has finally hit home.
 It was so hard that  I started doubting myself.
Thinking I was making things out to be worse then what it really was.
That I was self diagnosising my son.
That I was making him a "special-needs" kid when really he wasnt.
All of these stresses and worries were answered and confirmed last Friday.
And to be honest with you all I dont really think I am handling it well.
I would never say that outloud and that is why the world of BLOG is so amazing.
I have had to be strong for so long.
I have fought so many battles.
I have finally gotten the answers to my BIGGEST fears.

*My son is AUTISTIC,

*My son is DEPRESSED,

*My son is over-STIMULATED,

*My son has ANXIETY Issues,

*My son has Sensory Issues ( i dont even know what that means),

*My son has Seizure Disorder,

*My son has Mental Retardation,.....................

*My son is COMPLICATED!

MY son is the LOVE of my life!

My son is a brother.

My son is FIGHTER!

My son is CARING, LOVING, and POLITE...

My son IS a child with AUTISM.

I knew for 12 years since the day he was born..

And that is ok.

There is NOTHING

I would EVER change.

But I still want to be sad and try to fix everything and make it easier for him.

Now I hope that the label of "AUTISM" is not placed on his every move.

I want him to be happy

I want him to be independent.

I want him to understand things that we all take for granted.

I want him to be able to have a WONDERFUL-

loved filled life.

It like knowing "offically" now what I have known in my heart forever.

But it still hurts.

Not knowing as his mother what to do.

How to explain it to him and his Sister and Brother,

AWESOME day!! Lots of answers!!

Dr. B will NEVER fully comphrend how much I LOVE her.

Finally today after 4 LOOOONNNNGGGG years of tests, specialist, screenings and errors.

We have a Full Diagnosis.

AUTISM!!!

I know a real SHOCKER.

Why the happy-relieved tone in my typing.

Because NOW it is OFFICAL.

that means the schools HAVE to get him the services he needs.

And get this Dr. B wants to come in on an IEP and eval Tanner at school.

Awesome Day........

I think YES.

More to come later,

Just wanted to update. 

The BIG day is finally here!!!!

And as excited as I am there is a HUGE part of me that does NOT want tomorrow to come.

We have been WAITING for so long it seems to actually get a Diagnosis for Tanner that I am SCARED!!

He has gone to so many different Doctors and Specialist that all come to ONE conclusion that is he is a COMPLICATED CASE!

Like  I was NOT fully aware of the fact he is COMPLICATED!!!

But I do have a feeling that THIS appointment will answer questions that both Paul and I have had.

HOPEFULLY!

Hopefully there will be NO more testing for a while.

And we will be able to NOW find out who can help him

and what other services will work BEST for him.:)

I have always known from the MINUTE I saw his cute little face there was something about him that would ROCK my world.

And now I have found someone that I hope will be able to help us and give us answers!!!

SO, if tomorrow there is a  post of

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

You will all know that she said he was COMPLICATED and changed NOTHING!!

So here is too a Diagnosis that will make sense.

GOOD NIGHT!



Genetic Evaluation=GREAT confusion ans NOT many answers

As some of you may know in Feb. Tanner finally had a Genetic Panel Test done at PCMC.

Well on Wednesday of last week we were finally able to get into the Specialist to have them tell us what they found.

DRUM-ROLL.....

Apparently even his Genetic results show he continues with the

 "He is COMPLICATED!!!"

 shocking I know!

His 12th chromosome on the LONG P arm is missing a piece.

What exactly does that mean???

I have no clue!!!!!

They want us to do some more testing with Paul and I.

And that test only cost $5,000.00 for each of us.

CRAZY, I know.

They say that with this chromosome abnormality his diagnoises dont really make sense.

That with this 12th chromosome breakage BEHAVIORS that they see in Tanner is NOT common.

So, to sum it up I am still as confused about GENETICS as I was when they first called.

Hopefully when they send the report I will be able to read it an research it more...

HELLO GOOGLE!!-lol.

On a side note the house is coming along GREAT!

All the painting is done.

So we wait for it to dry so we can get pictures hung!

And vinyl on the walls.

I CAN'T WAIT!



We are moving!! AGAIN!!!

I know AGAIN!!!!!

For those of you that know me well you know how often we move!
And yes it has been 2 years.
So, it is time....AGAIN!!
This time though is a BIG move.
We are actually BUYING!
It is a small 3 bedroom house.
With a HUGE yard.
I NEVER moved as a child.
Where as my husband moved alot.
So, I use his moving us around as a time to DE-CLUTTER!!
And oh boy have I with this move.
We have LOTS of work ahead of us.
Painting, Yardwork, Decorating.
If I would have been thinking I would have posted BEFORE pictures.
Maybe I will get some tomorrow.
Now that we have the biggest part of the pick up done.
Now the fun begins.
Toree wants a HOT PINK room.
Tanner and Tayson are having a RED DEVIL/ Cars room.
I get to paint my kitchen ANY color I want and to tell you the truth I CAN'T WAIT!!!

Here's to our next final move!!!!

Helicopter Mom-- yeap thats me.

This is always the HARDEST part of the year with Tanner.

This will be his 5th school in 6 years.

Mostly because they have decided it wasnt the right school for Tanner...

His behaviors are increasing, and he is getting bigger

SO

I will be the Mom.

The Mom of a child with AUTISM.

That most people try to understand,

but when they see it happen they dont know what to do.

************************************************

Over the last little while I have come to realize that I am a.........

Helicopter Mom!!

I am sure this is coming to you all as a HUGE SHOCK--LOL

But yes I have decided I need to lay low for awhile.

Let Tanner do his thing.

Let the meltdowns come.

Let the phone calls begin.

Let the sleepless nights come to an end.

Let the teachers take care of business.

Let everyone see his "true" colors.

I have been taking the boys to Summer School for the last 3 weeks...

Tanner is suppose tostart his day at 8 am (LOL).

Well that didnt workout so well,

He goes to school at 11 with Tayson.

And I am suppose to pick them up at 1:30.

Well I usually get tanner out of the car and to class by 1145.

Tayson is already to go and practically JUMPS out of the car when we get there.

Then I get to classroom and he runs out the door.

I try to leave with him in the good hands of his teacher,

And he runs.

We take him to recess and he runs.

Tanner has RAN away from school before and I am scared he will again.

So I hauver.

I make sure he is safe.

I make sure his classmates are Safe.

And then I go home for 45 minutes before I have to go get him and Tayson.

Its a crazy life being a HELICOPTER MOM!!

but at least I am letting him SOAR!!!



2 years...Since Tanner said good-bye to his BEST FRIEND.

I woke this morning and was getting the boys ready for Summer School.

Tanner was fighting it as per-normal.

Tayson was ready to go.

Tanner didnt sleep at all last night also per-normal lately.

When he finally did wake up all he did was cry...

He cried at school.

He cried when I picked him up.

He cried on the way to grandma's house.

He cried just sitting on the couch.

When I aksed him why he was so sad today he looked at me,

 smiled,

 and said you woke me up.!!!

I apologized and said well Bud you had to get up.

He said he was dreaming of riding horses with Grandma Ila and Preslee.

I cried with him.

Preslee was his "girlfriend"

He loved his Preslee.

He has talked about her often over the last 2 years since her accident.

He prays for her EVERY day.

He asked about her all the time.

Her Parents Pat and Ashley were always so wonderful with Tanner,

I miss them!

He misses them..

They are AMAZING people.

Go to their blog page at

http://patrickandashley.blogspot.com

and read their AMAZING story

 you will see WHY

Tanner LOVES them so much.

That is when it hit me!

Poor Tanner's little heart is breaking all over again for his Pres.

I cant ev en imagine what it is like for Ashley and Pat.

But I can tell you.

Preslee, Grandma Ila and Tanner have

been riding horse together in his dreams.

They went for a walk in the park.

They had sno-cones with the JUICE!

Sorry Ashley, Tanner let her have Juice.

And well it just goes to prove have thin that veil is between Tanner and Heaven,...