Ramblings from a mother who has spent way too many days listening to Specialist this week:o)

Tonight as I sit here wondering what to post I have a thousand thoughts going through my mind.
I want to POST something... BUT lately every post has been about a NEW Doctor or a new treatment plan for Tanner,
Sometimes I wish I could just post REGULAR-NORMAL posts.
You know the kind....
Where everyone in the Family is doing NORMAL things.
But that is NOT what is in the cards for us right now.
ALTHOUGH.
Toree is doing fantastic in school and BASKETBALL..
Tanner hasnt been to school in over a WEEK..
Tayson is sicker then a DOG..

I have made 2 trips to Utah, seen 5 new Doctors and scheduled 3 new test for Tanner.
Someday I know they will find answers to my questions. But how do I know, How does anyone really know what the answers will be. And how do I know if I will like them. Right now I feel somewhat comfortable in OUR life. I know what to expect. I know there will be seizures, meltdowns, solid clothing, etc..etc... But what if what they tell me changes it all.
I said to Paul the other day.. What if all this is just me being a CRAZY INSANE mother.
He laughed and said they wouldnt test Tanner for that they WOULD test me..
We both had a good laugh out of that.
But, maybe this is  my test.
Its a test of my strength. I have been EXTEREMLY overwhelmed that last few weeks. And it is starting wear on me I can tell. But like the previous post I have been ENTRUSTED with Tanner and I can NOT fail him or my other children. I have to continue to be strong for them, for me and for Paul ( bless his heart). He went to the appointment on Monday with me. I think he was a LITTLE overwhelmed to say the least. But he was there when I needed him and I am thankful for that.
Hopefully this coming week I will have the strength and knowledge to go head on into our next adventure.. Whatever that may be.!!!! The GENETiCS test was done on Friday. Hopefully we will hear from them soon.