On Sunday I was able to go with Paul and Tanner to Tanner's Priesthood Preview. I can not believe next year at this time he will be able to pass the sacrament at church. (where did that 12 years go). Anyways as I was watching the other boys do 12 year old things it made my heart sad. Sad for the things that Tanner just doesnt get at his age that he should. It mad me sad for the things he may never get to do or understand. It made me sad, SAD for me NOT him I think.
I almost feel guilty writing this blog. Maybe I only felt sorry for me because I saw what Tanner WAS NOT doing instead of what he was doing. I feel selfish now writing that I felt that way.
I wonder often sometimes TOO often if you ask Paul. What will happen if Im not here. Well they know that he cant tie his shoes, button his suit shirt, wipe is own ( well you know where I am going with this). So I ask myself lately do I feel sorry for ME ?? No mother is suppose to feel that way. But I wonder will he ever go to prom, get a drivers license, kiss a girl, go on a date. These kind of things NEVER crossed my mind before, but he is getting older and NOW this is the questions that I have to look forward too..