Thursday, August 9, 2012

Closure.... Now what next?

Now I have the diagnosis
 and over the last few days I have been VERY emotionally.
I think now everything that I have been trying to put blinders over because I was told it was this or that for the last few years from Doctors and Specialist has finally hit home.
 It was so hard that  I started doubting myself.
Thinking I was making things out to be worse then what it really was.
That I was self diagnosising my son.
That I was making him a "special-needs" kid when really he wasnt.
All of these stresses and worries were answered and confirmed last Friday.
And to be honest with you all I dont really think I am handling it well.
I would never say that outloud and that is why the world of BLOG is so amazing.
I have had to be strong for so long.
I have fought so many battles.
I have finally gotten the answers to my BIGGEST fears.
*My son is AUTISTIC,
*My son is DEPRESSED,
*My son is over-STIMULATED,
*My son has ANXIETY Issues,
*My son has Sensory Issues ( i dont even know what that means),
*My son has Seizure Disorder,
*My son has Mental Retardation,.....................


MY son is the LOVE of my life!
My son is a brother.
My son is FIGHTER!
My son is CARING, LOVING, and POLITE...
My son IS a child with AUTISM.

I knew for 12 years since the day he was born..
And that is ok.
There is NOTHING
I would EVER change.

But I still want to be sad and try to fix everything and make it easier for him.
Now I hope that the label of "AUTISM" is not placed on his every move.
I want him to be happy
I want him to be independent.
I want him to understand things that we all take for granted.
I want him to be able to have a WONDERFUL-
loved filled life.

It like knowing "offically" now what I have known in my heart forever.
But it still hurts.
Not knowing as his mother what to do.
How to explain it to him and his Sister and Brother,

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