Somedays are harder then others!!

Somedays are Harder!

Someday when I know the alarm is about to go off I say a little prayer.

I pray that when you wake up everything will go as planned..

I pray that today will be the day that brush your teeth alone!

I pray that when it comes time to put on your clothes you will do it alone.

I pray that you will wash your own face.

I pray that today will be the day that we make it to school on time.

I pray it wont be a battle to put on your shoes.

I pray that you wont try to jump out of the car at the stop sign (that only happened once, but I still pray it won't again)

I pray that all the kids at school will see you as the AWESOME kid you are and NOT the one who has a "HELPER".

My wish list is much like my prayer list.

It that wrong??

Would you pray for and wish for the same things for your CHILD!

My son is 11 and knows he is different.

He knows that some of the kids are scared of him.

He knows that when he gets upset that all eyes are on him.

He knows he is over weight.

He knows that he runs slower then you.

He knows that when you see him some of you laugh at the way he talks.

Today was a harder day,they are becoming more often again.

Is it time for a medication change?

Is he hurting and cant tell me?

Is he just unable to express himself to me?

It isnt as bad as I know it can be,

Somedays are HARDER!!



Our Family Goals??

We have started out our New Year as many of you have with GOALS...
Well how has that been for you??
Me not so eventful.
I have always thought oh this will be the year I lose 50 pounds (HA).
I will be more patient with my kids (Double HA)
I will be nicer to Paul ( that one I am not even going to comment on).
I will go back to school
I will .... I will... I will
So I decided this year I will just go with the punches!
I just see what happens and set the goal then.
Gesh, I sure said "I" alot in those goals. Maybe that is where I am getting this all wrong.
Is it possible that maybe I could set FAMILY GOALS???
WE could read the scriptures every night
WE could actually make it through one FULL Sunday of Church.
WE could make sure we HELP eachother out more.
I think that is where I have gotten the whole "GOAL" thing wrong.
I want to make my family a HAPPY family and I don't always think that is just an "I" goal.
There are LOTS of goals I would LOVE to set for myself. But for right now I think what this Family needs is OUR GOALS!!!

On to a NEW adventure

I have made a decision...

One that may not be favored by all..

Especially Toree.

I am going to take on the Special Olympics Team for Evanston!

YES, I am CRAZY!

YES, that means no more BridgerValley TEAM:(

Yes, I may have bit off more then I can chew.

BUT

There are ALOT of kiddos and adults that I think could REALLY benefit from this.

Not all of them have the resources or chances we have to drive to BV for practices.

Wish me luck and DO NOT for get to donate for Tanner @ firstgiving.com then go to tanner spatig and that is where you can donate..

It all goes to such a GREAT cause..

FINALLY!!!!

FINALLY!!!!!!! FINALLY!!!!!
I can hardly stand the excitement!!!
We are leaving in a day to head to Idaho for Paul's GRADUATION!
I have nothing packed and clothes that still need washed!!
But we are outta here Wednesday morning.
He is getting his Associates right now,
and will start @ Weber State in January to FINISH!
There is a small light that I am beginning to see.
He has worked so HARD and I have tried to always be supportive..
But let's face it your husband that is 40+ years old can only do so much homework before EVERYONE starts to lose interest!!!

So we are saying goodbye to BYU-IDAHO!!! You havve been good to us,
BUT finally he is graduating!!!
YEAH!!

This is what I want!!

Today, Today I AM mad,

I AM sad

I want EVERYONE to understand. But to be honest I dont really know.

I want you to see the little boy that comes home crying because YOUR son called him retarded!! I want to see the way you break him when you say HE CANT DO that!!

I want you to explain to him why he has to sit alone in that room until he calms down.

I want you to be told where your son will sit, where he will go to school, what friends he can talk to today..

I want you to have bathe your son ,

I want you to care for your son for 100% of his daily care.

I want you to lay in bed and cry yourself to sleep because...,

You cant go to school for him and you can NOT take his pain away.

The pain he doesnt undestand enough to tell you about.

I want you go watch ALL the other kids he age do what they do everyday and wonder if you will EVER see your son do that!!!

I want your heart to break when people ask you "what 's wrong" with him.

I want you to explain to your oldest daughter that it is ok to have her friends come over and HOPE there is NO meltdown.

I want you to STOP!!!!

I want you stop judging my parenting skills because of the way he acts at school.

I want you to come pick him up from the grocery store when he has a meltdown and you can't get him out of the store alone.

I want you to have EVERYONE tell you what you do wrong EVERYDAY, because they know how you should do it all!!

I want you to understand that I AM A MOM... I LOVE him unconditionally!!!

I will FIGHT this battle with him, because if not who will.

I will shower him,

I will wash his face,

I will tie his shoes,

I will write his name.

I will hold his hand through his life.

I will teach him.

WHATever he wants!!!!

HE is NOT broken!!!! Please STOP trying to fix him!!!!!

Gray Matter Heterotopia

Yeap that is what I said.... Does any of you know the meaning??
Yesterday I took Tayson down to good ol' PCMC to see the neurologist. We were talking about possibly tappering him off his seizure medication. At which time she suggested an EEG of his brain to see if there was any change in his seizure activity.. Well she called today and said in fact he shows EXTREME seizure activity one the right side of his brain, which explains why when he did seize it was on the Left side of his body. That night 2 years ago was HORRIBLE to watch his little body seize and we we do NOT want that again!!!! So we are keeping him on the current dose. But while we were there Dr. Neilson explained that when he had his MRI a while ago it showed that he has GRAY-MATTER HETEROTOPIA. It is were when the brain develops that not all of the cells develop correctly and cause a gray look to them, where Tayson's is located on his brain is on the Right side where the seizure activity is prone too. It is also on the part of the brain that controls speech and motor skills. So we will continue treating the EPILEPSY part of it and as progression takes place on his brain we will go from there. Of course this is also promptly a "BOY" disorder,, it is also seen in girls BUT not a severely. So I will continue to research a NEW clinical term and see what I can find out and when I do I will continue to share with you.
I am thinking I should find a new career in NEUROLOGY!!!-LOL

Otherwise everything in WYOMING is busy, busy, busy.. Lots of School Christmas Programs coming up!!!:O)

THanKFul!

Today as I reflect on the last year I am thankful for so many things.
Some are small and some are big, but non the less I am thankful.
I am thankful for my little family and the trials that we face each day without them I would be lost.
I am thankful that at this time I am able to stay home and just be a MOM!!
I am thankful that I live close to my Family and for their support.
I am thankful for my husband and what a hard worker he is (sh.. dont tell him)
I am thankful that my Dad and Brother in laws are the family entertainment so often.
I am thankful for all of my sisters in their own special ways I love each of them so much.
I am thankful for my Mom for teaching me patients and love and for being so wonderful.
I am thankful for Toree and her love for life and they way she smiles and rolls her eyes at me when I try to kiss her. And for the fact that she and I have gotten so close, she is a GREAT kid.
I am thankful for Tanner for all that he has thought me and continues to teach me each day, and for his hugs ( they well knock you right over if you are not ready for them).
I am thankful for Tayson, for the fact that he doesnt ever leave my side. For the way he loves his brother and sister unconditoinally.

There is so much more that I am thankful for, but I think you get the idea.. Each one of us have so much to give thanks for at this time of year.. It is a GREAT way to start the Holiday Season!!!